I rarely do “Caption This” posts, preferring to titillate bore you with my dazzling words. But this picture, spotted at Celebrity Babylon, begs a different sort of treatment. It was bad enough when a young Justin Combs was caught , but the glint in the eyes of little D’Lila Star or Jessie James as she holds her Daddy’s platinum card is proof that Diddy is breeding a generation of dangerous mini-hims.

Please, weigh in with captions. The best one wins a prize!*

*_{My undying respect.}

Sarah Chapman, Diddy’s woman-on-the-side, named the not-so-secret daughter she had with her not-so-secret lover, Chance. As in, “baby, you will have all of the “Chances” Mommy didn’t, because I made sure your daddy was the third richest man in hip hop!”

Over the past year, Combs’ reps repeatedly denied to us that he’d fathered the child with Atlanta beauty Sarah Chapman. Combs now tells us he’d been holding off on acknowledging Chance as his blood until DNA tests had been completed.

“At first, I wasn’t sure if this was my child,” he said. “Now that it has become clear she is, I will take care of her for the rest of her life.”

Or maybe Diddy has just been holding off on acknowledging Chance until the shit hit the fan and both of his baby mama’s started blabbing to any magazine or blog that would print their quotes.

The most unfortunate thing is that little Chance has two sisters who are shockingly close to her age, but it’s not likely she’ll ever really get to meet them. Oh well, she’ll have all the toys money can buy!

[]

Okay, Mary Louise Parker’s new daughter is cute. Trendy, as I mentioned before. But cute and, I would assume, better off. Brad Pitt’s probably already engineering play-dates, although Zahara looks like she might be really bossy during play time.

[TMZ]

Looking brown but less than Foxy (check the courtroom sketch) our favorite anger management case was sentenced to a year (!) in jail Friday for her numerous probation violations. The judge didn’t really buy it when the supposedly three-months pregnant Foxy — the pregnancy wasn’t brought in court and lawyers are relatives declined to comment — said she was humbled by the three weeks she spent in Rikers Island.

Nothing Foxy Brown said at a Manhattan probation-violation hearing yesterday could sway the judge, who sentenced the rap diva to a year in prison for repeatedly thumbing her nose at the criminal-justice system - including getting arrested three times in the last eight months.

“Miss Marchand,” Criminal Court Judge Melissa Jackson told the rapper, whose real name is Inga Marchand, “it’s too little, too late.”

Something that might have set the judge over the edge was the fact that, in addition to everything else, Foxy had stopped attending her court ordered anger management classes, which, if nothing else, explains that Blackberry-throwing incident. If she is pregnant, she’ll likely have her child in prison. And, although I don’t like to see women convicted of crimes as petty as Foxy’s have to give birth in the prison hospital, I don’t know what else she really expected to happen. See ya in ‘08, Foxy.

[]

Halle Berry is three months pregnant? Didn’t we all know that, like, three months ago?

Keep up, TMZ. Actually, it’s all still a “rumor has it” situation until Ms. Berry and Mr. Aubry deign us worthy of an official announcement.

Aren’t stars so lucky that babydolls and shift dresses are in right now? That blowing wind messes everything up, though.

Update: This is what happens when production on your movie gets canceled and the shift dresses stop covering up the bump. Official announcements (in the form of an email to Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell) get made. Read ‘em and weep:

“Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!” she wrote to Nancy. “Can’t wait to see you and give you a squeeze and see a pic of your little sweetie. Until then, you heard it from ME first!”

In the next paparazzi shots we see of Halle, she is going to look undeniably pregnant, which is always the way it works with these sorts of things.

• It sounds like all you really have to do to get into Tyra Banks good graces is to give her a big slab of baby back ribs. [Jezebel]

• Nicole Richie announces her pregnancy and suddenly her boobs grow 2 sizes. []

• Congrats to Tamia and Grant Hill on their new baby. []

• Diddy might be a lot of things, says Kim Porter, but he’s not an physical abuser. [SP]

• If you’re ever brainstorming Christmas gift ideas for Flavor Flav, scratch “lifetime supply of porn” off the list. [24/S]

What’s up with these Hollywood pregnancies where your tummy is allowed to stay flat? Tameka Foster and Nicole Richie, who are both pregnant with their singer boyfriends’ babies, don’t really look it. I understand that women start showing at all different times, but with Nicole Richie’s size, one would think the baby bump would be visible upon conception. But I suppose this summer’s ubiquitous shift dress has a built in bump cover.

Anyway, it’s not all speculation anymore. Nicole Richie spilled the beans to Diane Sawyer and to OK! that she’s actually bringing a human life into the world. After she goes to jail for driving the wrong way down the freeway, of course.

[People]

Shar Jackson has hired a lawyer to defend herself against claims that she’s pregnant with the child of the baby daddy she already shares with Britney Spears, Mr. Kevin Federline. If she sues Star Magazine, which was the first to report the pregnancy, maybe she will no longer have to pimp herself for blingy license plate frames like she did at the MTV Movie Awards gifting suite.

Shar, who denies the mag’s claim, says her children are being affected by the rumors, and told TMZ through her rep, “When my kids hear things at school and then ask me if they are getting a new brother or sister, I have to put my foot down.”

Based on her vehement denials and a gross offer to hand over an EPT test to Star editor Bonnie Fuller, she’s probably telling the truth about not being pregnant. But it was so much more fun to think that she was.

[TMZ]

Today, Eddie Murphy, who looked like an FBI agent at the Evan Almighty premiere this weekend with his lady love, is being forced to face a problem he would obviously rather ignore. Poor thing had to skip the London premiere of Shrek 3 so he could hand the judge a DNA sample so we can all determine once and for all whether Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown’s baby girl is also his. Anybody taking bets?

[Starpulse]

Tootie, AKA Regine, AKA Kim Fields, delivered a little boy named Sebastian this morning. Our favorite sitcom sweetheart is all grown up! Actually, she’s been all grown up for about 17 years, but it’s still fun to say. Here she is during her Facts of Life years, when her hair resembled an Army-issue helmet (she now rocks bleached-blond dreads) and little Sebastian was just an apple in his mommy’s eyes.

[Starpulse]