I rarely do “Caption This” posts, preferring to titillate bore you with my dazzling words. But this picture, spotted at Celebrity Babylon, begs a different sort of treatment. It was bad enough when a young Justin Combs was caught , but the glint in the eyes of little D’Lila Star or Jessie James as she holds her Daddy’s platinum card is proof that Diddy is breeding a generation of dangerous mini-hims.

Please, weigh in with captions. The best one wins a prize!*

*_{My undying respect.}

Quote of the Week

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A year after Rabbit was gone, I was on tour like crazy with Cash Money, and my momma said she was bored, alone, and scared in the house by herself. She was like, ‘Why don’t you just have a baby with somebody? Just tell the little girl’s mom I’ma take care of the baby, don’t worry about that.’ I was like, ‘I don’t have nobody I like like that!’ She was like, ‘Just find somebody! You don’t like Toya?’ I was like, ‘Alright, I like her then.’ Toya was 14 when she got pregnant, and I was 15 asking 14-year-olds. Toya’s the only person that agreed outta all the ones I asked. I said that my momma wants a child. And they was like, ‘That’s your momma’s problem!’ So Toya was like, ‘Shiiit, when we due, boo?

[via C&D]

Not to speak ill of the dead, of course, but when a guy’s finances and family life are in a complete and total shambles nearly a year after his death, you’ve got to come to the conclusion that James Brown left this earth with many, many unresolved issues. And unclaimed children, but that’s a different story for a different time.

Special administrators appointed to look into the handling of James Brown’s estate have told a judge that a former trustee may have misappropriated up to $7 million of the late soul singer’s money.

The judge agreed that Brown’s heirs could pursue those claims and ordered the ex-trustee to pay $370,000 back to the estate, on top of $350,000 the man repaid last month.

At that rate, the trustee is going to be paying back that $7 million he took for quite a while. And with look-a-like children coming out of the woodwork, they’re going to need every penny of that trust for the mass payout.

[SP]

Here’s the problem inherent in creating massive amounts of negative publicity for your no-good baby daddy. Once the no-good baby daddy stories run out, the public still has a thirst for negative stories period. Mel B, you’re up!

Tonia Lamere says Spice Girl Mel B left young Angel Iris with her while she eloped to Sin City with Stephen Belafonte.

“One evening of baby-sitting turned into four days!” Lamere tells Star magazine.

“The child was sick, there was no nanny, and when Mel called, she never even asked about the baby.”

Lamere also claims she was forced to buy food for baby Iris and her older half-sister (Phoenix Chi) out of her own pocket during the four days Brown was away.

Brown’s rep says this is all a fabrication, but also fails to come with the cold hard facts about Scary Spice’s wedding trip with the duck murderer. A parenting class for famous people should be a prerequisite to getting a SAG card or signing a record deal.

[]

Zahara Jolie-Pitt, my favorite African child of famous white parents — David Banda Ritchie’s not even a close second — might be facing surgery soon for a genetic hip disorder. Mystery of why she is always being held: solved. Well, it’s maybe 10 percent her hip ailment and 90 percent the hounding paparazzi.
[SP]

• OMG, this would never have happened to Madonna and David Banda. [IOL]

• The game doesn’t stop for the Game. He’s abroad right now, but a trial was just set in the states for his three felony charges. [MTV]

• This whole “Regulators” and “Vikings” thing at the LA Sheriff’s Dept. is just very, very strange. [LAT]

• Stay away from those African drums. [IOL]

• The vast majority of students who didn’t find a place this year in Dublin’s public schools are black. And there are enough of them to start a whole all-black school. [IHT]

• It’s 2007 and people are only just figuring out that there’s probably a big market in ethnic dolls? [ABC]

• Why doesn’t Ray J just give up all pretense and become a full-fledged porn actor. He obviously wants to. []

• Re-releasing your album is unlikely to have the desired effect, Ms. Kelly. [C&D]

• Eddie Murphy calls Melanie Brown and liar and an extortionist. I would say “this is getting ugly,” but it obviously got ugly about 9 or 10 months ago.

• I’m past the point of marveling at the fact that K-Fed seems like he would be a better parent than Britney. Now I’m just going to need someone to give him those kids. [MG]

Because she knows what it’s like, I hope Melanie Brown encourages Stephen Belafonte to hang out with his daughter. According to the ever-diligent TMZ, Melanie Brown’s new, not-so-secret hubby has had some child support issues, among other things, in the past. The Web site dug up a complaint from 2006 ordering Belafonte to pay $254 a month in child support to his ex-wife for their daughter. $254? I wonder if the price has gone up now that he has a sugar momma.

, Melanie Brown went on Larry King last night, where a number of viewers asked what exactly she wants from Eddie Murphy, since he claims that he has paid child support and recognized his paternity. She says she wants him to “take care of the situation and be responsible,” which could mean different things to different people.

For instance, some people might consider not deciding to have a baby with a guy who has a “questionable” lifestyle and who you have only been dating a couple months to be responsible.

Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown, done with her much-publicized Miami vacation, goes on Larry King Live tonight to do her favorite thing — assail Eddie Murphy’s character. Hey, the guy kind of brings it on himself. Uber-attorney Gloria Allred will be in attendance to, of course, twist the knife whenever possible.

[24/S]

Remember that completely insane woman whose paternity claims Chris Rock was actually entertaining a few months ago? Here’s his and Malaak’s deep sigh of relief, in the form of a written statement:

After multiple lies, including that Chris refused to establish paternity and after finding out that Ms. Bowyer has an extensive criminal record, we personally asked the court to help us establish paternity so that we could put this harassment to rest.

Last week it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father of Ms. Bowyer’s son. We have spent a tremendous sum to litigate this case and are asking our attorney to pursue all legal remedies against her. Additionally, we would like for any monies Ms. Bowyer has taken from the tabloid media based on this false story to be donated to Bulloch County, GA charities for the benefit of disadvantaged boys and girls.

The child support gods are smiling on at least one famous black comedian-turned-actor these days. Although, if the test came out positive, I would expect a little more in the way of compassion from Chris to take a bit more of a hands-on approach to fatherhood than Eddie.

[TMZ]