Here’s an advertisement for a skin-whitening product only Michael Jackson, and apparently millions of Indians, could love. Lesson learned — when your skin is dark, you’re a loser. When you lighten it with Fair & Lovely, you will be red carpet-ready.
It’s bittersweet to be reminded that there are cultures with even deeper color complexes than ours.
Naomi Campbell’s not the first celebrity to make fun of herself in the name of a hefty paycheck, and she won’t be the last. The tantrum-prone model, who is pictured above in bra-less glory at the OmniPeace by Signorelli Tee launch in NYC last night, recently filmed a spot for Dunkin’ Donuts.
According to a spy, the script called for Campbell to “be gardening in an evening dress. Something goes wrong, she gets frustrated, and she flips out. She then takes her shoe off and throws it through a window. Next to her is a Martha Stewart type who is calm, cool and collected, thanks to her frozen Dunkin’ Donuts drink.”
No explanation for why she’s gardening in an evening dress? No matter. If Dunkin’ Donuts drinks were all it took for Naomi Campbell to act like a calm person, her assistants would have been slipping them to her ages ago.
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For the younger readers out there who thought that Alfonso Ribeiro’s career began when he put on a pastel polo and Dockers to play Carlton Banks on Fresh Prince, think again. In the early 80s he was a quadruple threat dancer, actor (Silver Spoons), singer, and all-around tween heartthrob/Right On! pinup. If you have any question about his dancing or persuasive speaking skills, please watch the commercial above. He makes me want to buy his break dancing book, if only to get the radical album that’s included. Too bad this was years before he would come up with his patented Carlton move. If that had been in the book he probably would have sold more sets.
Unless I have severely misjudged Stereohyped’s demographic, most of us were not born when this commercial aired in 1962. Also, most of us wouldn’t have seen it, anyway, because we aren’t French. But it could have totally aired on U.S. airwaves and Ozzy & Harriet wouldn’t have batted an eye. The moral of this commercial is that if you are white, blond, wearing flesh-colored hot pants, and happen to be stuck in a big cauldron about to be eaten by black cannibals, offer them an ice cream bar. They’ll eat that instead of you. The end.
- If your ancestors came from a British colony, you might be able to find your slave ancestors on a new Web site. By December, the names of 3 million slaves from 19th century slave registers dating will be posted on Ancestry.co.uk. [NZH]
- What do you do when you have a 37-year-old rapper stuck to your couch? Amy knows. []
- Black youths are exposed to 77 percent more alcohol advertisements than other teens. If that’s true, why are they they least likely to drive drunk? [BVN]
- Coretta Scott King can’t get a portrait hung in Georgia’s state house, but Israel’s naming a forest after her. []
- Is rap the downfall of civilization or the great equalizer, bringing youths of different races together? Make up your mind, media. [LAT]
I can’t lie. I kind of hate Gatorade. I’ve always thought it tasted a little like flavored sweat. And being like Mike? At the stage of life I was in circa 1992, I was more likely to want to be like his daughter so he could take me on shopping sprees at Limited Too and Claire’s. These days, I’d like to be he ex-wife (minus the decades of infidelity and general misery) and collect that record breaking divorce settlement, but that’s another story for another day.
Anyway, this is a classic commercial, and the slogan is one that would never fly today with any of our major sports stars. It’s the age of tabloid journalism, and sports figures get more attention for their arrests, paternity suits, and foot-in-mouth comments than their performances on the court or field. Obviously, Michael Jordan was and is no saint. But at least back then I thought he was.
Of course, we all know better now.
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- Only Beyonce would be allowed to turn a Samsung ad into a House of Dereon commercial. [CL]
- The way the citizens of Trinidad are reacting, you would think Akon simulated violent sex on stage with all of them. []
- Snoop says, “Oprah, I’ll come on your show to talk about my lyrics.” Oprah says, uh, nothing. []
- Corinne Bailey Rae got embarrassed by the bouncer at Butter. I bet they would have let Amy Winehouse in. [TMZ]
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Laaaadies, Bobby Brown is officially a free man today. You know what that means. [E!]
Uncle Ben, of rice-in-a-box fame, recently got promoted from house slave to “CEO.” Don’t ask. I don’t really get it, either. For the record, Aunt Jemima has had no such luck. It still sucks for women in the workplace.
Anyway, to commemorate, Slate put together a fun little slide show of the most egregious examples of racist spokescharacters. Most are based on black stereotypes, but there are a few Mexicans and Native Americans in there for good measure. According to Slate, racial stereotypes are slowly getting phased out of modern advertisements. Maybe they missed this Red Stripe ad.
[Slate]
