I am fully aware that it’s sort of a blogger cop-out to just write, “Speechless!” Even when I am. And, after watching this, I really am. Maybe I’ll just pull out a quote from Duane “Dog” Chapman’s unintentionally amusing visit to Hannity & Colmes that sort of summarizes his defense.
“I’ve always taken pride to be the white guy that can talk to the black people. That can refer to them truly as a brother from a different mother.”
He takes a shuddery, tearful breath after saying this, so I’m not sure if he had more to add along those specific lines, or if that was it. But it kind of says it all, doesn’t it?
P.S. Dog? You’re not my brother from a different mother. In case you were still confused.
Dear Dog,
Ugh. I know “ugh’” isn’t really an appropriate way to begin a letter. But ugh. I don’t really have much to write to you. I’m not necessarily surprised by your fondness for the word “nigger,” not only because I can’t imagine the bounty hunting profession is one that requires much in the way of racial sensitivity, but also because, well, I don’t know. You sort of seem like the type.
The reason I don’t feel like I have much to write to you is because I don’t think you’re particularly special. I mean, you have a reality show, sure. But it’s nothing I have ever caught myself watching. And I watch a lot of television. So that says something. You’re also definitely a racist, even if you want to deny it to save your job. But that’s certainly not special. Guys like you come a dime a dozen. So you can drop “alohas” and deliver canned apologies and meet with Al Sharpton and hold press conferences and maybe even get your job back in the end. But you’ll only have done those things to save your livelihood. Not to “cure” your racism.
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Dog the Bounty Hunter needs to look no further than his own family to find out who dogged (get it?!?) him out by slipping the National Enquirer a career-damaging tape filled with racial slurs. That’s right, it was his nigger-loving son. What can I say? Once you go black, you never go back. But the money was probably good, too. []
• How could you not love Jennifer Hudson after this:
“I have the height of a model, the breasts that people pay for and the lips that everybody wants, so why should I change?” the 26-year-old Oscar-winner asked at the Oct. 30 Avon Foundation Gala in NYC. “I wouldn’t change myself for anything or anybody. That will never happen.”
[OK]
• Of course Al Sharpton is open to a meeting with Dog the Bounty Hunter. [People]
• For all of you Vanessa Simmons fans. [C&D]
• And they wonder why there are no black people in San Francisco. [EaterSF]
• Brandy’s trying to make it happen post-scandal. [CL]
Dog the Bounty Hunter, who, if such a contest existed, would surely be voted “White Television Personality Most Likely To Use The Word ‘Nigger,’” is, predictably, rather fond of the word “nigger.”
The National Enquirer obtained some audio (listen here) of Dog (can I call you Dog, Mr. Bounty Hunter?) expressing concern that his son’s “nigger” girlfriend would tell a tabloid that he says “nigger” all the time. Look how that worked out.
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