Kanye West had to bow out of performing at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in LA last night for obvious reasons, but never fear! The Spice Girls, who look mostly the same, although the majority of them have gotten way, way skinnier, were on hand to lend their peforming services. This may or may not have been disastrous. I’ll need to check it out when it airs.

I’ll give it to Victoria’s Secret. With Jessica White, Selita Ebanks, and Noemie Lenoir stomping down the catwalk, they’ve got one up on most designers that show during fashion week. Three black models don’t exactly make an army (although there could have been more that weren’t pictured), but still. More pics — the men should like these — after the jump.

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You know when television’s premiere awards show has to resort to bringing out Kanye West, who was completely irrelevant to the proceedings, you know the show’s producers are feeling like the ceremony has gotten kind of boring and out of touch over the last few years. But it’s not the actual show that makes the awards a joke, it’s the nominees and the eventual winners.

When The Wire’s not even nominated, Jaime Pressly wins a best supporting actress award over the brilliant Vanessa Williams or Jenna Fischer from The Office and James Spader from Boston Legal wins best actor over, well, anyone (but particularly James Gandolfini), I have a hard time respecting the importance and meaning of an Emmy statue. Nevertheless, congrats to the winners — especially 30 Rock — whether they deserved their awards or not. More pics and a list of winners after the jump.

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Terrence Howard’s trip to Paris for Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s nuptials cost him a girlfriend, and he doesn’t seem to upset about the loss. Her toilet-paper-to-baby wipe ratio was probably off, or she forced him to have sexual intercourse. Either way, he’s far better off without the sexual temptation of an unsanitary female.

“I lost my girlfriend on that trip because I didn’t take her… Sometimes you go to places by yourself, and I had the need to be in Paris by myself. I didn’t feel like explaining anything… I went and did my thing and it was great and I discovered me on that trip, I like being single.”

Sorry, ladies. I know you’re lining up, but he’s gonna go the single route for a while. I know. It stings.

[SP]

It all seems more than a little excessive to me, but Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Will Smith, and Jada Pinkett all thought it was necessary to throw David and Victoria Beckham a lavish, star-studded “Welcome to America” party yesterday at the Museum of Contemporary Art’s Geffen Contemporary gallery in LA. Take a look at the pictures after the jump — Will and Jada obviously invited a lot of their friends.

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• If Eva Longoria has the body of a 12-year-old girl boy, what does this say about Tony Parker? [J-N]
• The gear Ciara’s advertising in her new Rocawear ads is coming soon to a bargain bin near you. [C&D]
• Jill Marie Jones moves up in the film world to costar with Jessica Simpson in her new movie. Or maybe down. []
• Oprah’s dog died a tragic death. Doesn’t this trivialize all of those gay rumors? [Star]
• Kanye West’s not as totally self-absorbed as we think. [AHH]

• The NAACP set up podiums for all of the no show Republican candidates at the candidates forum, leaving the lone attendee, Congressman Tom Tancredo, by himself on an empty stage. []
• Along similar lines, no Republican candidates have accepted an invitation to speak at the Urban League’s annual conference, either. []
• Universal Studios wins a ground-breaking racial discrimination lawsuit brought on by an worker on 2 Fast 2 Furious. [LAT]
• Walgreens, on the other hand, has agreed to pay its African American managers $20 million for using race to determine store assignments. [CT]
• Eva Longoria’s wedding might have featured more free stuff than Star Jones’. []

Tony Parker, if Eva Longoria told you she likes this rap love song of yours, it’s only because she’s your wife and doesn’t speak French. Actually, I don’t need to tap into my college-level French reserves to tell this is embarrassingly bad. It transcends language.

Again with the athletes trying to be rappers! Is the off-season that boring?

• One wedding down for Tony Parker and Eva Longoria, one more to go. [MG]
• Want out of your Sprint contract so you can pick up an iPhone? Here’s how. [Crave]
• This new Nicole Scherzinger and T.I. track isn’t that different from a Pussycat Dolls song. She’s the only one that sings, anyway. [CL]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony can’t even separate for their own tours. [Lossip]
• Bill Maher, you’re still chilling with Karrine Steffans? After everything you know about her? Really? [TMZ]

• Diddy puts on a show of how good of a father is while simultaneously bragging about how rich he is. Always a multitasker. [SR]
• The gayest moments in hip hop. The gayest moments in R&B, starring T-Pain and Ray J, are up coming up. [CC]
• The autopsy results of Tony Thompson, whose death rocked the worlds of all black kids raised in the 90s, show he died from an accidental overdose while huffing Freon. []
• You didn’t think she was gonna let him have a bachelor’s party alone did you? [People]
• Whoopi Goldberg stood in line with the rest of the non-celebrity class for her iPhone. [SP]

Tony Parker, fresh off his MVP-winning performance in the NBA finals, seems sweet enough, but he’s managed to rub his older fiancee’s friends the wrong way.

Some of Longoria’s pals are worried about Parker. “He is just not gracious,” one of them said. “He puts himself ahead of her. He always orders at restaurants before her and is rude to waiters. We just don’t have a good feeling about him.”

Don’t they teach table manners in France? Is this friend serious? He or she sounds like someone who went out to dinner with the couple once when Tony was hungry and grumpy. The way Eva talks, she wears the pants in that relationship, whether Tony orders food first or not.

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