Paris is dying inside right now. Unbeknownst to the blogs, or the paparazzi, or the television journalists who were busy clamoring to cover the announcement of Lindsay Lohan’s ridiculously lenient criminal charges and her guilty plea, Nicole Richie quietly entered jail to begin her four-day sentence for DUI.
She was processed, her mug shot was taken, and she was put in a cell. Thirty minutes later, she was released due to jail overcrowding. I’m searching my soul to come up with the same outrage I felt when Paris Hilton was released early (before she was sent back), and I can’t really find it — particularly when the prosecution just played total softball with Lindsay Lohan over her drug charges and multiple DUIs. Oh well.
We all know who’s not throwing her a welcome home party.
[TMZ]
- I give you Eve and Sean Paul’s “Give It To You.” [CL]
- With two jailbirds for stars, The Simple Life just got a lot more complicated. []
- Taye digs slutty-looking blondes. [TMZ]
- Jay-Z says he’s staying put at Def Jam. But that’s what they always say. [SP]
- The BBC wants to let us all know that we were all mistakens, there will be no repercussions for the Game’s homophobic outburst on the air last year. Phew! [AHH]
Should T.I. have given Paris Hilton some pointers about the politics of being famous and incarcerated? He clearly handled his probation violation situation with more aplomb than our least-favorite heiress.
He tells Blender magazine, “(Fame) made it easier because I had a reputation that preceded me, so there wasn’t a lot of stand-offish situations. People only gonna mess with you if the s**t you kickin’ ain’t real. C.O.s, though, some of them would go out of their way to make my life a little harder sometimes. I’d ask them to keep the phone on an extra 30 minutes - they’d cut it off 30 minutes early. Just to say, ‘it doesn’t matter who you are.’”
So all Paris has to do is take advantage of the reputation that preceded her, and she’ll be fine in prison. Let’s see, she is known for being dumb, slutty and having an large sense of entitlement. On second thought, maybe she shouldn’t try to model her experience after T.I.’s.
[SP]
Stereohyped’s theme of the day is obviously involves former big-money rappers that are now famous for something else (in Hammer’s case, I think we can all agree that the parachute pant is his legacy) speaking out in favor of our nation’s troops. Flavor Flav made his point clear on his way out of Mr. Chow’s in LA last night. And I quote:
“Bush wanna be fly, tell that mother f**ker to send the troops home from Iraq!”
Flav also wasn’t too happy about Ms. Hilton getting more attention than the troops in Iraq, but defended her plight anyway, telling our camera, “Paris is still the mother f**kin’ bomb and she’s gonna blow up sh*t!”
Maybe we should let the troops stay in Iraq, because, if Flavor Flav is to be believed (and why wouldn’t he be!?!), Paris Hilton will be turning the homefront into a war zone momentarily.
Wait, why am I talking about Paris Hilton and Iraq in the same post? Blame Flav.
[TMZ]
O.J. Simpson, living a dream existence that consists of frequent rounds of golf and the habitual avoidance of comeuppance, sees a little something of his own life in Paris Hilton’s current court troubles and the accompanying media frenzy. Except for the obvious fact that he didn’t go to jail for what he did.
“When Paris Hilton was going to jail last week, more people knew about that than knew that we were sending people into space that day,” Simpson said in a phone interview from Miami. “It has replaced what is real news. There was always a place for it, but it was [gossip writer] Rona Barrett. Now it is the equivalent of Edward R. Murrow reporting it today.”
Simpson, who spoke on his cell phone while returning from an early morning round of golf, said he still gets up to five calls a week from reporters seeking comment — but declines virtually all of them. “People ask me about Paris Hilton, when [NFL running back] Ricky Williams was in trouble, Pac Man Jones,” he said. “Everything [Hilton] went through, I know about. But why do I want to talk to the media? If I comment, it becomes a story.”
Right. Don’t comment to the media! Instead, write the most ever. That surely wouldn’t become a story.
[E&P]
Chudney Ross, daughter of Diana, seems to be trying her hardest to be Paris Hilton, minus the jail and psychological problems. In her blog she describes her ultimate socialite dream day, during which she chats with Pamela Anderson, eats lunch with Jessica Simpson, shops with Sienna Miller and dances with Britney Spears. I would encourage Chudney not to give up on her dreams. As soon as Paris Hilton gets out of jail, Nicole Richie will probably be headed there, and, last I checked, Paris and buddy Kim Kardashian are on the outs. That leaves a big opening for a vaguely ethnic child of privilege like herself to slide right in. Good luck!
[DListed]
I’m kind of horrified to be writing my second Paris Hilton post in as many days, but blame all of the black public figures out there — of the entertainment-variety and otherwise — who are out enjoying the warm weather or sleeping off hangovers or actually working instead of making news for me to write about. Plus, TMZ’s description of what happened after the very pissed off judge ordered Paris back to jail is pretty priceless.
Hilton left the courtroom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.” Hilton was also heard saying “It’s not right.”
One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.
Priceless but also kind of sad. This is a person who has not had to take responsibility for anything she’s done in her entire life, and she simply has no idea how. And young girls, of all races and ethnicities, think she’s hot. It bodes well for the future.
- Oh, Serena. I’m no sure the French are ready for all that. []
- To make a long blog post short, it probably wouldn’t have hurt anything for LeBron James to sign his teammates Darfur letter to China, and he could have saved himself some bad publicity. That said, I doubt he cares right about . [ESPN]
- Great. Here he comes. [People]
- There are many celebrity rumors that I don’t like to believe. This will be one of them. No, Denzel! []
- Aww, Jermaine Dupri totaled his Escalade. [AHH]
Paris Hilton’s out of jail after just three days, barely cracking the surface of her 23-day sentence. I typically avoid discussing Paris, aka Evil Incarnate, on Stereohyped (generally, she’s completely off-topic) but I’m too annoyed to let this slip. Three days? I bet she hasn’t even removed her fake eyelashes from the MTV Movie Awards yet.
Why did she get released, you ask? Her health. Unless herpes is suddenly a valid reason for being released from jail, I call bullshit. Or maybe she was allergic to the black people there. She doesn’t have the greatest history with us.
[MG]
Little comes between celebrities and their personal electronics, which is why they are posing at the launch party for a new BlackBerry with the same enthusiasm as they would on the red carpet at the Oscars. Unfortunately for them, none of these stars are Oscar-caliber — although some have more potential than others. I guess that’s why they are this happy to be at a cell phone party.
