In Touch magazine is officially five years old, and, although you probably don’t care at all, quite a few people (your favorite blog editor included) chose to attend their big celebration last night at NYC’s Tenjune. And I’m sure Kanye West’s special performance had nothing to do with it.

As I hinted in this morning’s Rewound, Janet Jackson was there with Jermaine Dupri, and, pardon me if I engage in a bit of exaggeration, she saved everyone in the packed club from a fiery death! Okay. Actually, she spotted a girl whose hair was on fire and put it out. So she saved the woman in question from some serious burns, which is commendable.

Check out some red carpet pics from the event after the jump, although a few people, such as Swizz Beatz, Evan Ross, Miss USA Rachel Smith, and LL Cool J aren’t pictured. The latter stood emotionless, his eyes concealed by mirrored sunglasses, during Kanye’s entire (amazing) performance. Could LL be taking out his on K.W.?

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• A Louisiana sheriff who courted controversy during Hurricane Katrina when he denied entry to (black) people fleeing New Orleans, has died. []

• When air-brushing goes right. [PH]

• Beware of a male version of Superhead. [C&D]

• Beware of actual Superhead, while you’re at it. []

• Before she finally got a positive result, Halle Berry saved all of her negative home pregnancy tests, which is pretty nasty considering you have to piss on them to get a result. [People]

I guess Lil Kim figured that if Foxy Brown did it, why can’t she? She may have failed to realize that Foxy is now languishing in Rikers Island with a jacked up weave because of (among many, many other things) the recent lies she fed the cops.

When Kim got pulled over late last week for driving around a Lamborghini with no plates, she tried to talk her way out of it the only way a Brooklyn-raised female rapper knows how.

Kim’s story changed once more when she told police that she was actually licensed to drive in New Jersey but forgot her license. Turns out she’s not licensed anywhere.

During the incident, said the source, Kim stayed calm and cool, but when cameras showed up, whoa Nelly! “She became belligerent, loud and obnoxious. She proclaimed that if she was the average person, this wouldn’t have been a problem.” Since when is driving without a valid license or license plates not a problem?

So I wonder what Kim’s probation status is right now? If she violated it with this stunt, I bet she and Foxy Brown could share a cell!

[TMZ]

And to think, we never would have known how sweet Ray J, a known Lamborghini/cougar fan, was if Lil Kim hadn’t gotten pulled over in NYC driving the car he (and we’re just making a logical guess, here) gave her as a present.

Police said the rapper told them the car was a gift from someone in California which was delivered today on a flatbed truck. The car allegedly already had a summons in California for also being driven around without plates, perhaps by the previous owner.

Police were checking Lil’ Kim’s records when her lawyer came and drove the car away since the rapper allegedly did not have her license with her. Police were satisfied with the check on the vehicle which was legally registered.

Ray J really needs to save his money for when his 15 minutes are over. Shipping a (used) Lamborghini across the country as a gift for Lil Kim is pretty excessive. But, to quote Whitney, that shit is off the chain.

[1010]

• It’s 2007 and people are only just figuring out that there’s probably a big market in ethnic dolls? [ABC]

• Why doesn’t Ray J just give up all pretense and become a full-fledged porn actor. He obviously wants to. []

• Re-releasing your album is unlikely to have the desired effect, Ms. Kelly. [C&D]

• Eddie Murphy calls Melanie Brown and liar and an extortionist. I would say “this is getting ugly,” but it obviously got ugly about 9 or 10 months ago.

• I’m past the point of marveling at the fact that K-Fed seems like he would be a better parent than Britney. Now I’m just going to need someone to give him those kids. [MG]

Paul Pierce and Baron Davis’ All-Star Weekend in L.A. was supposed to be about charity, but wouldn’t it have been more charitable for this disaster of a couple to stay home? On second thought, they probably bring much entertainment to whatever party they attend. As long as they keep the PDAs to a minimum, that is.

Check out more pics from the weekend festivities.

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If Whitney Houston, even the post-crack version, ran up on me “tripping out and yelling” for no reason, I might just turn on my heel and walk briskly in the other direction. But don’t follow my example if this should ever happen to you. Sister 2 Sister publisher Jamie Foster Brown handled a similar situation quite nicely and received a religious hug in return.

When I hit the island, S2S’s June issue with Ray J on the cover was just hitting the newsstands. Who did I run into first? None other than diva Whitney Houston, who’d been Ray J’s rumored love interest for months. She was tripping out and yelling at me because she thought we had printed something negative about her in Ray J’s feature, though we had not. Then she said she’s a Christian woman so she was going to give me a hug. She did.

Considering all of the jokes people have made about Whitney, Bobby Brown, and even poor, maligned Bobbi Kristina, I find it interesting that she would choose to battle, however briefly, with S2S, of all publications. Over a story about her ridiculous (ex) boyfriend, of all things. Everyone has their last straw.

[S2S via ]

• Fresh off writing letters with PETA, Al Sharpton heads to Justin Timberlake’s new restaurant for some good, old-fashioned pulled pork! [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian in Playboy? It was a logical next step. [PH]
• Ray J’s porn money is only gonna last him so long if he keeps this up. [SP]
• Mariah Carey and JD are bringing the stone grooves. You just wait. [MTV]
• Two of the biggest egos in hip hop go head to head on Sept. 11. Not to rain on Kanye and 50’s parades, but that’s not the most auspicious of dates. [RS]

There are so many things wrong with this picture, not the least of which is that Brandy is stuck being third wheel to her porn star-wannabe brother and his older, plastic-surgeried, ex-con lover. How much does Brandy’s life suck right now?

Maybe she’s smiling through it all because she is supposedly back with her ex-fiance, New York Knick Quentin Richardson. His camp says no, but for Miss Norwood’s sake, I hope it’s really a yes.

[BF, EUR]

I’m trying to figure out a pattern to the company Ray J is keeping, and, from what I can tell, he is just moving in the wrong direction down the beauty spectrum. To each his own. He might use some of his porn money to buy his new woman some clothes that aren’t as likely to cause nip slips. On second thought, they probably planned the whole thing together and called TMZ themselves.

[TMZ]