Damn, I have a college degree.

I also have a knife, mace, softball bat, and new boxing gloves. I’m willing to use all of the above until I get my gun. I refuse to be a statistic.

An educated woman is a dangerous woman. It reminds me of the woman in the rich part of Maryland where there are a ton of black people whose husband set her on fire. That area apparently has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in the state. It’s a mess.

Well, right about now, I am relishing in my manlessness. w00t! Better single than black and blue.

BTW, what is it for our white, latina and asian counterparts?

I couldn’t find the study online, but on NPR they said the findings are opposite for white women — the more educated they are the less likely they are to be abused. No word on Asians and Latinas.

My guess is that it’s the same for black women as it is for Latinas. No one talks about abuse in the Asian community, but it does exist.

Looking at it again, I think abuse is less likely when a man is married to a woman who is less educated than he is. If I’m right, then expect the domestic violence rate to increase in all groups.

daria:

Me thinks you are correct. These crazy men probably don’t want their black woman to be doing better than them so they feel the need to hold them down.

this is sad news. wtf?

Daria and Jilly you are right. I have to take myself out of this equation b/c the dynamic of my last few LTRs have been similar to my current one, but within my circle of black female friends we all have degrees and all of my friends have issues finding black men at their same educational and financial level. When they do find a man who is compatible on paper it seems like the man wants someone “easier to handle” and not so “ambitious” and so on. So they date men who are not even in their league and they deal with jealousy and control issues from these men. One of my friends has dealt with physical abuse from someone that, honestly, was beneath her. Of course I am making a broad statement about their relationships, but it is a problem for them. I feel like I am rambling…sorry…

There are few education women who will be a Stepford wife and none of those women are women of color. Silent obedience while cooking dinner with pearls and perfectly coifed hair are what makes an insecure man happy. While education and a strong sense of self are not necessarily the same, an educated man is less likely to be threatened by a woman with a mind of her own. As long as that mind isn’t sharper than his.

To be honest though, I don’t want to marry someone who is less educated than I am. Bring on the PhDs. Initially, it was just that I like men who can beat me at Jeopardy and finish NYT Crossword puzzles IN PEN a la Bill Clinton. Now though, I just don’t want to get my a– beat every time my opinion interferes with a man’s sense of self. Which would be his problem by the way.

So working in the community AND being abusive constitutes a “good black man”?

I think this another example of how black women are sometimes the whipping board of the world. Yes, I know highly educated black women who allow themselves to be verbally and physically abused. Why? They don’t want to be alone, they don’t want to be single mothers, etc. They don’t report their abuse because they want to protect their men. They are simply swapping one stat for another.

I like the way you worded that, lele, swapping one stat for another. That’s the truth.

“They don’t report their abuse because they want to protect their men.”

Protect their men from what? Having to take responsibility for our actions? Doesn’t wash. A man who is abusive has no right to be protected.

I grew up watching my mother get emotionally and mentally abused. It is perhaps one of the worse forms of abuse, because unlike physical abuse, there are no scars to show people, so that you can get help. They don’t have a psychological traumatized womans shelter (as far as I know).

I’ll tell you though…watching my mother get terrorized for all of those years, has ultimately led to me being a better man. I’m sad that it took all of that hardship on her, to see a young Black man come up correct. But i’ll never lift a hand, or unjustly raise my voice, when I deal with a woman.

Black women have received the shit end of the deal in this country. During slavery they were raped by slave masters, saw their husbands hung, and had their children sold off. When we gained freedom, they were still denied property and voting. When they gained that, they still suffer physical and emotional/mental abuse. Did you know that statistically, a woman is more likely to be killed during the Superbowl, than any other time of the year? What kind of shit is that?

Niggas need to get their act together. We can’t keep makin babies and not take care of them. We can’t keep beatin our women. We need to stop turning to white females because they seem easier to deal with (a.k.a they put out quickly). If we are to truly believe that we descended from Kings, then it is time that we realize that our women are our Queens.

I’m tired of seein niggas hook up with white females when they get rich. When they are hard on their luck, and a sister is there by his side, it’s all to the good. But when they make it up (and/or out) then they leave her behind. I am proud to be a Black man, but at the same time, shit like this makes me angry about Black men.

I had a situation where I was being threatened and stalked by an x. I’m college educated, but I live in the “hood” which is close to my school. I was unable to get a restraining order because we didn’t live together and he hadn’t technically laid a hand on me. I wasn’t until he called my job (i’m a teacher) and threatened me and my students through my Principal that the police took it seriously. He went to jail for 4 months.

The police told me later, that I was “lucky” and would have never gotten the restraining order if he had threatened the students. I would have to wait until he actually put his hands on me to get help.

This is what I get form the NPR poll.
Sisters without a college education are probably more likely to live in neighborhoods where the police are more foe than friend. Hence, less reporting. Also, their options are more limited because of income.

And college educated sistahs probably live in neighborhoods where the police are more receptive and less corrupt. If abuse is present, they are more likely to report it and get results. They have more options, more income and more support.

Now the low numbers for white women. A number of things could be going on. Under reporting by the victims is PROBABLY the main culprit. White women are less likely to report the abuse. Probably afraid of the stigma, loss of income, etc. Also, unlike black women, many white women buy into the media hype of subordination of the woman. They often blame themselves before they blame the man.

That being said, I think the most important thing to get out of this is that the statistic does not identify the percentage of abuse as it relates the TOTAL population. They can never know how many are actually abused only how many report. College educated women report more often. Does that mean we are more abused? I doubt it. Flash back to the college statistics course and “Don’t believe the hype”.

Brothas are still beautiful. In the words of my grandma, “don’t pay this mess right here no never mind”