Dear Polow,

I thought about just ignoring you, since two posts in a week on someone who, let’s face it, should really be keeing his ass behind the scenes making beats and not speaking. The more the people respond to your idiocy (disguised as intellectual truth) the more important you will think you are. And you’re not, really. At all. But I had to say something. I am a black woman, after all.

A very astute reader (what’s up honee!) said that her grandmother always used to say that a fool with a little bit of education is dangerous. Now, I wouldn’t call you dangerous (I’d downgrade it to annoying), but you are the perfect example of the guy who reads a book or has a couple of experiences and thinks he knows the truth about the world. The truth about black women. Sorry, Polow. You don’t know the truth about me or anyone I know. So…why don’t you go make a beat for Fergie or something, and leave the race and gender lectures to people who actually know what the hell they’re talking about.

Pardon my sass. It’s just the way I was raised.

Sincerely,

Lauren

• Oh really, Rihanna? [BF]

• Obama-kahs, special yarmulkes emblazoned with “Obama ‘08″ are now being sold by a group called Jews for Obama. Now that’s just excessive. [TS]

• I would commend Akon for how seamlessly he is able to jump from discussing his wife to his “booty calls,” if he wasn’t so incredibly disgusting. []

• Celebrity Rap Superstar: apparently more entertaining that I gave it credit for. [SOHH]

• If I didn’t loathe Michael Vick, I might fear for his safety. People out here love their dogs. [EUR]

On the internet, are black women “fat” and white women “pleasantly plump?” A recent article in Gastronomica shed some light on the way we use different words to mean overweight or obese depending on the gender or the race.

Using Google as his research tool, he dug around to see how particular adjectives and euphemisms for “overweight” attached themselves to various genders and classes. Men, for example, are “portly” (39,200 results versus 746 for women) while women are “plump” (91,000 hits versus 15,500 for men).

The big finding, however, comes with black women. Disproportionate to everyone else (vastly, in some cases) they are labeled “fat,” “obese” and “overweight.” His take: As the ultimate outsiders (in race, gender, and usually class) they’re attractive targets for adjectives that carry negative connotations.

Interesting, since I just called Biggie wannabes and Kenan Thompson portly earlier today. Disregard the fact that I obviously need a thesaurus. To me, it’s not a word associated with women.

As for black women getting the words with the negative connotation (I actually think plump has a negative connotation, too, it’s just a more gentle way of saying someone is overweight), there is that “fat black woman” stereotype that we just can’t shake. famously refers to herself as such. And, of course, Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy don’t help.

[Chow]

_{Thanks to P-Lo for the tip.}

Quote of the Week

50 Cent on President Bush and war:

“Me and George Bush were both actually born on July 6, he’s just a little older than me. And he does have a talent: He has less compassion than a regular human being.” He added, “Me and George Bush are so different. … I actually go to war, when I go to war. Bush just sends [people] to war. When I took a trip to Iraq — ’cause I went to perform for the soldiers in Iraq — they had the same vehicles that I ride around in New York.”

Just in time for back to school, Chris Brown’s new video for “Kiss, Kiss” is set at a college, although I doubt he has any intention of ever actually attending one. I don’t know. It’s cute, but T-Pain’s enthusiasm annoys me, if that makes any sense. As always, it will make the kiddies happy, and that’s what matters when you’re Chris Brown.

The federal government has always had a knack for misusing our tax money in the most wasteful of ways. Take, for instance, the FBI’s interest in Coretta Scott King in the years following her husband’s assassination. A recently unearthed memo shows that the geniuses at the FBI were worried that the wife of a man famous for his use of non-violent resistance to effect change would become some violent anti-Vietnam rebel.

In memos that reveal Coretta Scott King being closely followed by the government, the FBI noted concern that she might attempt “to tie the anti-Vietnam movement to the civil rights movement.”

Four years after Martin Luther King Jr.’s death, the FBI closed its file on Coretta Scott King, saying, “No information has come to the attention of Atlanta which indicates a propensity for violence or affiliation of subversive elements,” according to a memorandum dated Nov. 30, 1972.

This is more ridiculous — but less surprising — than the time the NYPD felt the need to stalk the dangerous terrorist that is Alicia Keys, who was no doubt up to some subversive shit on the set of the Nanny Diaries.

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And to think, we never would have known how sweet Ray J, a known Lamborghini/cougar fan, was if Lil Kim hadn’t gotten pulled over in NYC driving the car he (and we’re just making a logical guess, here) gave her as a present.

Police said the rapper told them the car was a gift from someone in California which was delivered today on a flatbed truck. The car allegedly already had a summons in California for also being driven around without plates, perhaps by the previous owner.

Police were checking Lil’ Kim’s records when her lawyer came and drove the car away since the rapper allegedly did not have her license with her. Police were satisfied with the check on the vehicle which was legally registered.

Ray J really needs to save his money for when his 15 minutes are over. Shipping a (used) Lamborghini across the country as a gift for Lil Kim is pretty excessive. But, to quote Whitney, that shit is off the chain.

[1010]

The fact that there was no mention of it in the trade mags might have been a clue that Sean Kingston might not really be the chosen one for the Biggie biopic. But I assumed that MTV (granted, it was MTVUK) would be a reliable source for information like this.

While Kingston is being considered to play B.I.G. on the screen, producer Wayne Barrow denied that Kingston landed the starring role in the film.

“As producers of the biopic Notorious, we felt compelled to quell the various false media reports indicating Sean Kingston has landed the coveted role of portraying ‘The Notorious B.I.G’ in the upcoming film,” Wayne Barrow told AllHipHop.com. “The role for B.I.G is 100% open and we are diligently searching for the individual to seize the moment and fill those giant shoes of greatness, everyone is being considered, including Sean Kingston but no one has been chosen.”

Translation: Sean Kingston is a last resort. Portly, deep-voiced, wonky-eyed black men, call us!

[AHH]

Barnes & Noble just went from hiding their immorality and greed to just letting it all hang out. For a while, they were able to get around their promise not to stock OJ’s If I Did It in stores by offering it online, where it shot to #1 on the BN.com bestsellers list.

Now they’re getting rid of all pretense with the announcement that, based on “pre-orders and customer requests,” IIDI will be stocked in stores. Oh, but before you go thinking they are heartless and opportunistic, understand that they “don’t intend to promote it.” When you roll by your local Barnes & Noble in a few weeks and see that big banner with OJ’s face on it draped across the front entrance, I hope you know better than to be surprised.

[Jossip]

Way back in May, I told you about Saturday Night Live’s Barack Obama conundrum, which is that the only black cast member available to play Barack Obama in political parodies is the portly Kenan Thompson.

The only logical solution that Kenan could come up with was to lose 60 lbs, because, according to him, “It’s going to be a real political year and I’d hate for the show to have to seek somebody out to play Obama when they have me sitting there.” Well, if general health isn’t enough motivation, Barack Obama clearly is. Move over Dr. Ian.

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