Dear Dog,
Ugh. I know “ugh’” isn’t really an appropriate way to begin a letter. But ugh. I don’t really have much to write to you. I’m not necessarily surprised by your fondness for the word “nigger,” not only because I can’t imagine the bounty hunting profession is one that requires much in the way of racial sensitivity, but also because, well, I don’t know. You sort of seem like the type.
The reason I don’t feel like I have much to write to you is because I don’t think you’re particularly special. I mean, you have a reality show, sure. But it’s nothing I have ever caught myself watching. And I watch a lot of television. So that says something. You’re also definitely a racist, even if you want to deny it to save your job. But that’s certainly not special. Guys like you come a dime a dozen. So you can drop “alohas” and deliver canned apologies and meet with Al Sharpton and hold press conferences and maybe even get your job back in the end. But you’ll only have done those things to save your livelihood. Not to “cure” your racism.
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• That’s twice in one day, Tyra. []
• Lupe Fiasco continues to “Dumb It Down.” []
• So the marketing people just want this album to fail? [C&D]
• Melyssa Ford celebrates her birthday, another chance to wear something skin-tight. [CL]
• Condoleezza Rice says, “Ask not what your country can do for you…” [CNN]
New information from the FBI seriously calls into question O.J. Simpson’s abilities as a master criminal. He actually wanted to televise his confrontation with the man he claims stole his property. I’m going to hope that version of the plan did not involve weapons.
”Riccio and Simpson want to do a television broadcast confronting Beardsley regarding the items that were stolen,” one report said. ”Simpson wanted Riccio’s assistance in setting up the operation and helping obtain interviews for Simpson through various media outlets after the fact.”
Or maybe he used to be a master criminal, but years of being a media whore caused him to lose his talent. [SP]
Good news for T-Pain: His hit single “Buy You A Drank” is the best-selling ringtone of the year!
Bad news for T-Pain: He’s in a Tallahassee jail due to outstanding warrants.
Bittersweet news for T-Pain: At least it’s not a Tallahassee boot camp. [AHH]
I’m going to stop making fun of Tyra Banks, because her ridiculousness has now gotten to the point where I find it hard to believe she’s not actually making fun of herself. The alternative — that this woman’s earnest silliness is actually genuine — is something I’m not ready to face.
Her newest exciting idea for her talk show is to have a vagina day. All vaginas! The whole hour!
She added, “We should be able to talk to our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends about our bodies and not be embarrassed. I hope after this show women will not be ashamed about what’s up down there.”
Banks gives her audience an anatomy quiz, welcomes two gynecologist to the show, and shows a segment in which she takes a 28-year-old Plano, Texas, woman to her very first gynecological appointment – all in an effort to educate women about what can be an uncomfortable topic.
Or maybe I’m being to hard on T.B.? I mean, teaching the modern woman about “what’s up down there” is as noble a cause as any.
Quote of the Week
Snoop on UK gangs and the government’s refusal to let him in the country. Oh, and judicial law:
“I love my fans in the U.K., they’re really suffering by not letting me in to deal with the gang situation.
“I really wanted to be a voice to stop gang members, ’cause they respect me enough to get into a room with me.
“By not permitting me they’re saying they just don’t want me to solve this situation.
“It’s not the fans, it’s just a few people in white wigs and members of parliament. They got a problem because the judicial law is from the 1800s.”
:
Which famously un-single hip-hop powerhouse recently had a booty call with three women in a private third-floor room of that very trendy restaurant on Greenwich St.?
Dog the Bounty Hunter needs to look no further than his own family to find out who dogged (get it?!?) him out by slipping the National Enquirer a career-damaging tape filled with racial slurs. That’s right, it was his nigger-loving son. What can I say? Once you go black, you never go back. But the money was probably good, too. []
New Orleans funeral processions — brass band parades that are one of many rich traditions among the cities black residents — might become a thing of the past.
If police have anything to do with it.
According to Salon, police have been cracking down hard on these processions, citing noise ordinances. But for many it seems that the powers-that-be don’t consider a lot of New Orleans traditions appropriate for their vision of a post-Katrina city.
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Why did I choose Kelly Rowland as the lead photograph for this post about the MTV Europe Movie Awards in Munich last night? Because everyone, even young ladies who will go down in history for playing second fiddle to a bigger, more talented star, deserve their time in the spotlight. More pics after the jump.
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