Lindsay Lohan* spent just 80 minutes in jail for her DUI and minor cocaine charges, but Mike Tyson just did his entire 24 hour bid in an Arizona jail for similar charges. He suffered through it by reading American Gansta and eating Sloppy Joes. What a soldier! I say we march to the Arizona Department of Justice and demand answers. [TMZ]
*For the sake of the joke, forget about Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton’s sentences. It’s the day before Thanksgiving.
After perusing Oprah Winfrey’s Favorite Things — thousands of dollars worth of high-quality merchandise she gave away to a trembling-with-excitement-and-awe audience in Macon, Ga. yesterday — I have discovered one reason not to envy those lucky ladies in Macon. The Rachel Pally Swing Turtleneck and Sailor Pants combo. Had I been in the audience, that would be the first thing going on eBay. Then again, they also all got HDTV refrigerators. So it more than evens out.
I imagine that Kimora woke up yesterday morning and came up with a brilliant idea while she was waiting for her royal bath to be drawn and her servant girls to sprinkle rose petals along the path from her bed to her palatial bathroom.
“Ming, darling! Aoki, dear,” she cried, wiggling her diamond encrusted fingers in excitement. “We are going to share our fabulosity with the little children at St. Vincent’s Hospital today!”
And then she had to go and ruin it all when she told her assistant to make sure there was a photographer waiting. Oh well, a good deed is a good deed. Happy Thanksgiving, Simmons family!
Debbie Allen’s all-black, Broadway production of the Tennessee Williams play (turned classic Paul Newman/Elizabeth Taylor movie), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, finally has a cast. LL Cool J was mentioned months ago as a contender for the role of Brick, an injured ex-football player who won’t have sex with his wife, but, thankfully, that’s not happening.
Terrence “T.P.” Howard has been given the roll (ha! get it?). Although I’m not his biggest fan, at least he has Broadway-caliber acting chops. Other confirmed cast members are Phylicia Rashad, Giancarlo Esposito and James Earl Jones. The lead female role will either go to Anika Noni Rose or Kerry Washington. I’m sure you know who I’m rooting for. []
Dr. Jan Adams’ visit to Larry King Live last night was as brief as it was pointless. The scandal-plagued doctor, who had the distinct misfortune of performing plastic surgery on the mother of one of the world’s most beloved recording artists the day before she died, went on the show simply to tell Larry King that he was “wasting air time” and would not discuss the case out of respect for Kanye West and his family.
“Out of respect for the West family” might be a nicer way of saying that one of the West lawyers sent his lawyer a letter stating that if Adams went on Larry King the West family would lobby the California Medical Board for his decertification. So big bust for Larry! He probably wouldn’t have said anything we didn’t know, anyway.
• As you settle down for Thanksgiving dinner, think of Malinda Russell, who wrote the oldest-known cookbook by a black author in 1866. Incidentally, she didn’t include any recipes for fried chicken. [NYT]
• If you’re black and Hispanic and even thinking about majoring in computer science, do it. Bill Gates wants you too. [IW]
• New Orleans shifting racial population plays out in the new, majority-white City Council. [NYT]
• Ian Smith, the last white ruler of Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) is dead. [LAT]
• Critics are saying that Barry Bonds should have an askerisk next to his home run record because of his steroid use. But where are all the asterisks on the records won by the white old-timers when blacks were surpassing them in the Negro Leagues? [USAT]
This will be my last thankful Rewound post of Thanksgiving week (Stereohyped is going on a much-needed, two-day holiday, guys). I am not necessarily thankful for Sister Sledge or the song “He’s the Greatest Dancer,” although it’s preferable to “We Are Family,” if you ask me. I’m thankful for my sisters. There are only three of us, so let’s pretend like we’re the boisterous three in the group and leave out the tall, lanky one in the back that isn’t so comfortable with the choreography.
• Historically, R. Kelly’s had a problem going on tour with talented male competition. Is that why Ne-Yo’s suddenly been kicked off his tour? [C&D]
• This new, charitable Nicole Richie is sort of endearing. [People]
• So, a lot of Kanye news today. Here he is on the cover of GQ. []
• I’m really jealous of an audience in Macon, Ga., right about now. [Oprah]
• Michael Vick owes almost $1 million in expenses for the care of the dogs confiscated from his property. Damn, if only he had never decided to get into dog fighting… [CNN]
Wyclef can’t stop talking about crazy Lauryn Hill is. He recently went on the radio to explain things we already knew — that they were once in a relationship and that The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was largely about him — and things we might not know, that it’s likely bipolar disorder that causes her bizarre behavior. Whatever, the point is that Wyclef can’t stop talking about how crazy Lauryn Hill is! This is either because he feels he doesn’t have much else to offer in an interview or because interviewers sort of only care what he has to say about Lauryn Hill. Either way, it’s pretty depressing. [EUR]
I tired of “Crank That” many, many moons ago. Perhaps it was around the time that I found out the song was what my friend Carmen from Racialicious so expertly referred to as an ode to ejaculation. Or maybe it was because the song, when you get right down to it, is as annoying as hell, and once the novelty has worn off, the novelty has worn off.
Yet, here’s Soulja Boy, still making the rounds, although, now that he has won over the hip-hop-listening/youth population, it’s time to conquer the white movies stars and talk show hosts. Above, see him inspire a group of brave women to hop around like crazy people on the Ellen show. After the jump, watch Natalie Portman gamely attempt the dance — in red stilettos!!!!
I sort of just want him to go away.
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